For Whom the Bat Tolled: ‘The Walking Dead’ S7 Premiere in 4 Bites

Mega popular post-apocalyptic zombie drama ‘The Walking Dead’ pulled not one but two tricks on its audience last season. Now would be a good time to issue a SPOILER ALERT for the Season 6 finale and the Season 7 premiere.

As I was saying, the beloved showrunners first faked the death of fan favourite Glenn and then in the finale had evil mastermind Negan murder one of the main characters with his beloved chain wire bat Lucille. But with some POV camera shenanigans you never see who gets killed leading to months and months of heated speculation.

On Sunday night we got our answer as well as a couple of very shocking twists. So like a hungry zombie let’s bite into “The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be” in four bloody bites:

#1 I totally called it!

Eenie. meenie, mynie, moe…

I knew it was going to be Sgt Abraham Ford that got the bat. Don’t believe me? I have the sworn testimony of at least two co-workers. You see the ole ginger ‘stache with the uproarious one liners was right at the deadly sweet spot: he was not an untouchable like Michonne, Daryl or Carl but was a still a fan favourite whose death would be really impactful unlike Sasha, Rosita or Aaron (no offense guys). And killing pregnant ailing Maggie would have been a bit too far.

You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone, you’re gonna miss me by my ‘stache, you’re gonna miss me by my remarks, you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

Abraham was also a major physical and tactical threat, had previously died in the comics (it was him that got an arrow to the eye instead of Denise) and he was just a little too happy and hopeful with his budding Sasha romance. TWD does not like happy and hopeful. Not one bit. But at least he gave us one more great one liner before his head got smashed like a pumpkin. Michael Cudlitz you will be missed.

#2 Whaaaaat?

You all sure I’m dead this time? No way I’m coming back? Dagnabbit

I was expecting Abraham to bite the bullet (or the bat in this case) but a second death? You guys really shocked me with that one. And I would never have guessed that it would have been Glenn. After his dumpster death fake out last season he was the last person I expected to get killed. And maybe that was the point. Tricky showrunners.

Comic fans would know that this is exactly how Glenn died in the comic, bulging eyeball and calling for Maggie and everything. Glenn and Abraham was a double whammy that hit the survivors and the viewers very hard. Steven Yeun we have loved you from the very first episode, seen your character grow and mature and you will be greatly missed.

#3 The Taming of the Rick

It seems someone needs an attitude adjustment

I really love Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Negan. He is such a charming vicious sociopath that you really hate him but you still love him. Every line is like the growl of a predator. Chilling stuff. The Governor has got nothing on him.

While the meat of the episode was the two deaths and reactions to them we also took some time for Negan to “train” Rick. It was hard seeing our fearless leader reduced so low and dragged around like a dog that made number two on the carpet.

Get your skinny backside in here

All the stuff with Negan testing Rick with the hatchet to see if he would try to kill him, and then having him fetch the hatchet from a zombie infested fog was some pretty intense stuff though it did seem like they were making up time just a tad. And I seriously thought that Negan was going to let Rick cut off his son’s arm. With one eye and one arm Carl would have gone full pirate. Too soon?

#4 The Aftermath

This is some really deep doo doo

We have seen our survivors in some bad spots in the past but this is the lowest of the low. The look of despair on Rick’s face alone tells the whole story. Watching Maggie fall apart and seeing them carry away the headless bodies of their friends and lovers was heartbreaking stuff. After this episode I recommend watching ‘Sesame Street’ or reruns of ‘My Little Pony’.

An exciting, if somewhat depressing premiere, with some bloody images and extremely intense moments. It is the start of what could be a very interesting season especially with Morgan/Negan as a show regular. Things have definitely changed dramatically and the show has gotten the shake up that it needed. We will have to wait and see if they can keep up the momentum. But please showrunners – no more tricks.

Rating: ‘The Walking Dead’ Season 7 premiere (insert ridiculously long title here) gets 3.25/4 snapping zombie heads.

So what did you think of the Season 7 premiere? Feel free to comment and if you enjoyed this review you can share it with your peeps. Sharing is caring. 

For more TV horror you can check out my post on Top 4 Reasons to Bite Into ‘iZombie’ here and my Top 6 Reasons ‘Grimm’ Slays here. And for more intense and soul crushing TV reviews you can follow me on Twitter @suprememango012 for updates and other cool stuff.

Julien is outie like a navel. l8rs.


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