Bonkers Horror ‘Cobweb’ is a Mess, but an Entertaining One

Sommerleigh Pollonais, Horror Head Writer

Plot: Horror strikes when an eight-year-old boy tries to investigate the mysterious knocking noises that are coming from inside the walls of his house only to uncover a dark secret that his sinister parents have kept hidden from him.

Review: The People Under the Stairs meets The Boy. Throw in a dash of Arachnophobia and there you have it, the premise of the messy, plot-hole filled, yet kind of entertaining horror film, Cobweb. I understand if the above isn’t enough of an explanation (unless you’ve seen this movie, which means you’re probably nodding in agreement) so let’s break down this bonkers movie.

PETER: Is someone there? DISEMBODIED VOICE: No?

A young quiet boy lives with his overprotective parents in their cold home. He doesn’t have any friends and his parents come across as cold and cruel, not make things any easier for him. One night Peter (Woody Norman) hears knocking through his bedroom wall, which turns into a voice behind his bedroom wall. As the story unfolds we learn family secrets. Really weird family secrets. REALLY REALLY WEIRD family secrets that honestly make no sense if you give this mess of a horror movie any real thought.

Like most movies I watch, I knew nothing about the plot before viewing this, but I did know it starred two of the best actors around when it comes to leaving audiences creeped out. Lizzy Caplan (Fatal Attraction, Castle Rock) and Anthony Starr aka Homelander from The Boys play Mom and Dad respectively here, making this kid the unluckiest child alive. The casting made me hopeful for this movie and it starts out strong as we’re thrust into the mystery of this family.

He’s right behind me, isn’t he? Curse my penchant for exposition!

At one point I thought maybe Peter was going to be the villain, and maybe he killed someone, and it was his own guilt and repressed memories haunting him. Nope! When I say you’ll never guess in a million years what the twist is in this movie, I’m not kidding. And similar to recent genre entries Malignant and Barbarian the reveal only brings more questions than answers while also creating plot holes so massive you could drive a semi through them.

I’m not sure what Cobweb was meant to be when it was first thought up by writer Chris Thomas Devlin but what we got felt like two or three different premises stuffed into one movie. Yet, I kinda liked it. The buildup was creepy, the performances by Caplan and Starr were genuinely unnerving and the reveal, bat-crap crazy as it was, still entertained me with some very gruesome and even mean-spirited kills.

MOM: Don’t worry honey. No one is going to kill you in your sleep and eat your delicious brains with a spoon PETER: That’s oddly specific

So, I won’t spoil this for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but I will say stay away from any spoilers before you check it out for yourself. The story is messy, the plotlines aren’t cohesive but say what you will, Cobweb is one of those movies whose final act is so out of left field, you just might find yourself entertained by the craziness of it all.

Sommer’s Score: 6 out of 10

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Sommerleigh of the House Pollonais. First of Her Name. Sushi Lover, Queen of Horror Movies, Comic Books and Binge-Watching Netflix. Mother of two beautiful black cats named Vader and Kylo. I think eating Popcorn at the movies should be mandatory, PS4 makes the best games ever, and I’ll be talking about movies until the zombie apocalypse comes. Double Tap Baby! Read More

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